Archive on Well, Shit.

The Day Of, Part 3: The Walk

Fri, 19 Dec 2025 09:00:00 -0700

Part 3 of 3 — start with Part 1.

Sue shows up, and I tell her I’m ready — she knows better than me, but plays along and suggests we get a fresh round of pain killers in me before attempting.

She was right…

She helps me up about 45 minutes later, and wooooohhhhhhhh. Damn. I have a very creative vocabulary, and some interesting words were said inside and outside my head.

The Day Of, Part 2: The Toughest Night

Fri, 19 Dec 2025 08:30:00 -0700

Part 2 of 3 — start with Part 1.

I’ve had procedures like colonoscopies before, and I always remember the countdown — this time just a gentle opening of my eyes, and I’m in a whole new world from where I came from.

Not in pain, but far from comfortable. I can see a tube coming out from under the sheets — I dare not look what that is. Beeps all around from all the leads and wires hooked up to me.

The Day Of, Part 1: 5 A.M.

Fri, 19 Dec 2025 08:00:00 -0700

Normally, from where I live in Los Angeles, it’s about an hour and a half to UCLA, where I was going to have my surgery. At 5 a.m. that drive was cut down to 22 minutes.

I asked my husband to let me drive his car there with him as a passenger. I’m an anxious passenger, and I wanted to be in full control of the morning and the entire hospital stay. This was a way to set that tone — I’m in the driver’s seat.

Live Like You Were Dying

Fri, 24 Oct 2025 08:30:00 -0700

The weight loss started after my diagnosis in March, but not intentionally. At first, it was just pure and utter anxiety — what was going to happen, what was the treatment, who were the doctors, when was everything happening, and who would I be when it was all over?

So every time a friend mentioned how good I looked or how much weight I’d lost, it was… complicated. One side of my brain was like 💅🏻. But the rest of my head was just screaming, “You’re losing weight because you’re completely and utterly overwhelmed!… FROM CANCER!”

Official Eviction Notice

Fri, 24 Oct 2025 08:00:00 -0700

TO: Pernicious Prostate Cancer
RE: Illegal Squatting

This is your 45-day notice — you are hereby ORDERED to vacate the premises effective no later than December 8, 2025, at 7:30 AM.

Your lease violations include: unauthorized and unscheduled cell division in non-zoned areas; willful disruption of peace and tranquility (violation of the Anxiety-Free Living Act); blatant ageism (targeting a body that’s doing just fine, thank you very much); failure to remit rent or contribute to the overall wellness and maintenance of the premises; malicious, premeditated destruction of property with intent to cause harm, and other various homophobic behavior.

Sucky Options Only

Mon, 11 Aug 2025 08:00:00 -0700

If you’re new here: I’ve been documenting my (very unexpected) prostate cancer journey since my diagnosis earlier this year. I’m young for this disease, symptom-free when it was found, and blessed/cursed with way too many treatment options. After months of scans, consults, and enough parking fees to finance a small condo, I’ve finally made my decision.

It’s been a little while since my last update — hope you’ve all been well. Justin and I took a much-needed trip to Provincetown, MA, for a full-on “Gay Ole’ Time.” It was the perfect break from the madness of 2025 — both the global chaos and the personal variety.

Is That a Chill in the Air in June?

Tue, 24 Jun 2025 08:00:00 -0700

On to the update…

I had a great consultation with another urology oncologist at UCLA. While he confirmed I’ll still need treatment, he definitely lowered the temperature and made things feel less urgent.

Fantastic news from my PET scan: the cancer is contained to my prostate. This makes treatment much simpler and lowers the risk of complications.

Monthly Update: May

Wed, 28 May 2025 08:00:00 -0700

This past month has been all about gathering intel. I’ve been meeting with specialists to explore my options and get a range of expert perspectives before deciding on treatment.

So far, I’ve consulted with a urologic surgeon, a radiation oncologist, and a medical oncologist — all at City of Hope. Next up, I’m heading to UCLA on June 4 to meet with the Director of their Prostate Cancer Program. His credentials are top-tier, and I’m genuinely looking forward to hearing what he has to say.

Upgrade U

Tue, 13 May 2025 08:00:00 -0700

Justin’s birthday was a blast, but the next morning, not so much.

Justin turned 42 on May 7th, and we celebrated with pit tickets to Beyoncé that same night.

(Please send a belated Happy Birthday if you haven’t!)

Not to brag (okay, maybe alittle), but I once met the Queen in person in a casual setting. She was genuinely the sweetest human being. For those fleeting moments, she made us feel like friends. No airs, no ego — just a down-to-earth Houston girl.

Feeling Dramatic

Thu, 08 May 2025 08:00:00 -0700

It’s a mind fuck, honestly.

One minute, you’re living your normal life, feeling totally fine. The next, an emailed test result casually drops the words “prostatic adenocarcinoma” into your inbox. No call. No warning. Just a cold, clinical phrase you have to WebMD yourself. Spoiler: It means prostate cancer.

At 42. With no symptoms. I still don’t quite believe it.

How Did You Find It

Tue, 06 May 2025 08:00:00 -0700

I’ve always been a rule follower.

I stick to the right side of the sidewalk, hold doors open, and generally try not to be a jerk — unless it’s to stand up for what’s right.

(Okay, okay, my kindness and rule-following may not extend to my driving, but we’ll move on …)

Every fall — October or November, like clockwork — I get my physical. Whatever tests they suggest, I’m game**.**

Labs — April 2025

Wed, 30 Apr 2025 08:00:00 -0700

TL;DR

Samples: (2) Gleason 3+3 Biopsy Cores (of 12)
Decipher Score: 0.68 / 1.0 which is High Risk for future changes.
MRI: Negative / Unremarkable
PSA: 0.77 ng/mL

For those interested, here’s where things stand so far.

My biopsy sampled 12 cores in total. Cancer showed up in only 2 of them — one had 6% involvement, the other had 35%. So not widespread, but definitely present.

Both of those samples came back with a Gleason Score of 3+3, which totals 6. (The full scoring system, decoded here.) That’s the lowest score you can get and still be diagnosed with prostate cancer. It basically means the cancer cells look fairly similar to normal prostate cells, and they’re growing slowly. This puts me at Stage 2A — early-stage and low-risk in terms of growth and spread. Some folks even call this “not-really-cancer” cancer. That’s… misleading. It is cancer. It’s just not the kind you drop everything and hit the red button for — at least not yet.

How I'm Doing So Far.

Mon, 28 Apr 2025 19:08:31 +0000

I’m damn lucky.

I’ve got great insurance, a rock-solid husband, an incredible circle of friends, and access to some of the best hospitals and doctors on the planet. Every single day lately, I’m reminded just how fortunate I am.

There I was, sitting in the first oncologist’s waiting room — the first real appointment of this journey — nervous doesn’t begin to cover it.

Welcome to Cancer!

Mon, 28 Apr 2025 19:06:20 +0000

Well, well. It’s been a weird year or two.

It’s really tough for a lot of people to process disease, mortality, all of the things that come up when you hear the word “cancer”. There’s a lot of stigma with the word, let alone it being Prostate Cancer .

I am only 42, most men do not start getting checked till 45+ if not 50+. There’s a good chance I could be in a much worse prognosis if it wasn’t caught early. It’s still cancer, it’s still going to suck, but no one is mentioning death . That’s a win .